There’s balance in my Facebook feed and life. I love the complexity of my life. Without this, I probably may see the world one way and might be totally ignorant of something else…
… like Black men venting for the wrong reasons. Recently, I’ve been exposed to this gem:
Ah, yes. Demonizing a single mother.
At my current age (mid 30s), it’s not all that uncommon to finding and maybe dating a single mother. But what about the single mothers who husbands/boyfriends died before their time? What about domestic abuse cases, where the mother now wants to re-entering the dating world? Imagine dating someone who decided to not let you know that she has a child yet, and you’re friends on Facebook and this popped up?
And then the hole gets deeper.
Okay… how about this one?
Okay… so now, having education is a problem and you accused a whole gender in a race as problematic. Nice. So, let’s go after the “smarter” women. You know, the “non-Basic” ones… oh, wait… let’s not…
How about this one? Do we fear Black women who may not want a child in their future/immediate future? Or those who may want to maybe share the roles of a happy couple?
Here’s my problem with this way of thinking when it comes to having a relationship with a Black woman: you’re trapping yourselves into a basic way of thinking.
Sure, there are women people in general that you probably might want to stay away from if you’re trying to keep your stress levels low. But when you have this type of thinking nurturing, then what you’re doing is simplifying Black woman and encouraging the same racist tropes that the rest of society loves to put on them.
But my favorite one… when one’s masculinity is in question. Like for an example… the “simp test” - (a man who submits to his woman, aka pus*ywhipped.)
As you can see, there’s huge differences between these two “types”. One is practically independent and wants you to take on the role of the traditional housewife verses a woman who’s hypersexalized, but will make sure that home is taken care of first.
Can you imagine if the pictures were reverse and the hypersexual one were the one that pays all her bills and having the business while the conservative one is the one who takes on the traditional housewife?
In other words, they want this:
Basically, anything that threatens masculinity is problematic for men in general, and especially a problem with Black men.
If you’re taking care of another man’s child, it’s a problem. If you let a woman have her own business, that’s a problem. If you do anything that shows that you’re a pus*y in front of your boys, it’s emasculating the man and turning him into a woman… as if only one gender should be the bread winner.
Now, I have nothing against “traditional values”… when the couple is in agreement with them. If the woman wants and agrees to be submissive to become the traditional housewife, then more power to them. At least they were presented with a choice.
But if they don’t, would you turn them away? If the woman has a child from another man and that situation went sour for other reasons (not “man just f*ck and left”) doesn’t she deserves a chance at real love?
The other problem is that these are the same Black men who want to vent about the lack of support from Black women when they are faced with acceptance in society.
I will never understand why successful Black women are troubling to Black men like this. When your masculinity is more important than the overall happiness of women in general, you’re probably not someone to be taken seriously.
When a Black man vents about a Black women problems, it makes me wonder…
There have now been at least 76 school shootings since Sandy Hook.
Around 7:40 a.m. Monday, two teenagers were arguing in front of their high school 40 miles away from Charlotte, North Carolina, when one of them pulled a gun out of his waistband and shot the other. The victim was shot twice in the leg, and is reportedly in stable condition at a nearby hospital. The alleged shooter, a 15 year-old boy named Jalen Russell, turned himself in to his school principal and is facing charges for assault with a deadly weapon.
Although the Senate considered popular legislation to reduce gun murders in the wake of Sandy Hook, in part by ensuring that people who purchase firearms are subject to a federal background check, the bill was killed by a filibuster.
“I left a note on his dresser, and my old wedding ring…with these few “goodbye words.” How can I say, “Goodbye ol’ sleepy head.” Take care of everything. I’m leaving my wedding ring. Don’t look for me, I’ll get ahead. Remember darling, don’t smoke in bed.”—Nina Simone, Don’t Smoke In Bed.
It is only in this sick world we live in where black African life is rendered utterly meaningless by white supremacy and imperialism that people can make jokes out of Ebola when it affects black African bodies and then suddenly become serious when the first documented case occurs on American soil.